tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3885049791751167739.post6658573695079380551..comments2023-05-23T00:36:56.813-07:00Comments on The Peripatetic Poetess: Harnessing the Power of the Line Breakwarmaidenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08391769344411207864noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3885049791751167739.post-56260337346489665862008-08-04T01:54:00.000-07:002008-08-04T01:54:00.000-07:00I really enjoyed that poem, and actually particula...I really enjoyed that poem, and actually particularly liked the 'think of England' reference - because of course England didn't exist at Lilith's mythological time, so it was ironically funny for me. I also enjoyed your linebreaks, and the nice internal rhyme of 'gardenfresh flesh'.<BR/><BR/>One thing I found slightly jarring was the repetition of the word 'fruit' in both the first and second stanzas - could you change the first one somehow to something else?<BR/><BR/>I think it's one worth keeping.Helen Rickerbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10652318704387476082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3885049791751167739.post-24187948673970452032008-07-31T13:47:00.000-07:002008-07-31T13:47:00.000-07:00Hmm. But isn't "lie back and think of England" the...Hmm. But isn't "lie back and think of England" the way we still denigrate folks who tolerate the bad sexing? I say this phrase all the time. perhaps *I* am anachronistic...warmaidenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08391769344411207864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3885049791751167739.post-3480835749444214512008-07-31T08:47:00.000-07:002008-07-31T08:47:00.000-07:00I like this a lot - but the reference to England s...I like this a lot - but the reference to England seems a bit anachronistic.Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17461923672002382570noreply@blogger.com